does anyone know the etymology of the phrase "new and improved"? if you think about it, you'll see that it contradicts itself, for how can something claim to have been improved if it is new?

today marks a tremendous holiday

after almost a month of waiting, i finally received it:

a friend confirmation from one william r. bauer.

now we can be facebook besties! yay!

it's almost like being on a ship on rough seas. i'm rocking back and forth. when i get to one side, i think i know how to stop it. but, before i can see it through, i get shoved over to the other side, and when i'm there, i don't want to end it. it's more that i'm apathetic towards... well, mostly everything.

today, i was jolted to the former of those sides. i need a few months, maybe a year, but i know i can end the rocking.

how to vanish

first, you need to be deemed unnecessary. if no one cares about you, no one will bother to concern themselves with your affairs.

second, you need to be forgotten. when you're forgotten, people can't even acknowledge your presence. at this point, the illusion is complete.

third, you need to disappear. that one's fairly obvious, so i won't explain it. as i said in step two, the illusion completes once you're forgotten. however, the mark of a true magician is that the trick be completed fully. otherwise, you might slip and give the trick away.

filosofee

one week: two coelho books.

it's like getting drunk on philosophy. it's amazing.

the malice of rumors

i should not have to defend my honor against people i risked it trying to help.

i should not be attacked by the person i aided, who is receiving information from the people i asked for aid, to help the person attacking me in the first place.

i should not be finding this out from this one person, while the others continue about their normal business.

i should not have to avoid a friend, regardless of how close, because of a rumor. because someone doesn't like me, because i attempted to prove that one a liar.

i should not have to be at the crossroads of a problem that isn't mine.

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edit

i am EXTREMELY PISSED about this. you know that this doesn't happen easily. you all know that i'm one of the hardest people to truly insult, because i just don't care. well, my friends, it's been done. someone has dubbed me untrustworthy without giving reason for it. i am NOT a liar. i lie, because i am human, and therefore prone to sins, but i honor truth more than most. i am deeply cut. until i find out what's going on, one can expect that i'll be not quite the most pleasant person to deal with, or at least, not as pleasant as usual. i will however, make efforts to subdue my emotions, so that you, my friends, will not be afflicted by problems that aren't your own. for, you do not deserve to suffer them, or their effects.

a supercell begins it's domination over my lands

ten thousand Flame Queens cry, red and gold

their tears are mine

a squall erupts and Zeus sends forth volleys with his acclaimed accuracy

Thor, too, screams a battlecry as Mjǫllnir strikes with a bang

my lands are torn and shattered

these lands are my flesh

yet i am unscathed.

i long for the fire rainbow to give light

for the trail of the Valkyrjur to guide me to safety

for Apollo's chariot to break through the derecho

or, i must feel the trees being rooted from their soil

i must feel the ground splitting under the tectonic pressures

i must know what it is to lose a part of myself

i, too, must learn patience.